mentoring is where it's at

Since I last blogged on this site, a lot has happened - I've been maried for 8 months and I have a new job. I work at an agency that provides human services in an neighborhood of Pittsburgh. I am the director of the youth programs and I really like it. Every day, I get to see kids and families who are struggling to make it through. The parents look tired and stressed. Many of them, I've never met because overseeing their children's after school care is simply not on their to-do list. The kids, well, they are as unique and diverse as any group of kids. Some are charming, some are disturbed. Some are smart and polite. Some are so unmotivated they complain if they have to get up out of their chairs. I have been thinking about how Oprah decided to put a great deal of money and publicity into her school for girls in Africa. She has been the target of much criticism because she took her resources overseas instead of directing it toward American children. her reason for this is very interesting. She says that she does not see the drive, passion and motivation in American children that she sees in African children. She wanted to give a chance to kids who would grasp it with fervor and make the most out of it. I completely understand what she means. It is frustrating, the sense of entitlement that even America's poor children have. If you buy them a pair of shoes, you may get a look of distaste if they are not the latest, greatest brand that everyone is wearing. Certainly not all, but many of these kids don't have a drive and desire to make it on their own and become educated and successful - they want to be basketball stars and rappers. Television has convinced them that these things are equal to success. Becoming something like a teacher or a carpenter or a mechanic (things well within their reach if they put effort into it) are not of interest.

I think about this constantly and wonder, with my position of influence, how I can mold my program into a catalyst for change. How can I make the goal of becoming a lawyer or an engineer or a construction worker or a radiologist look sexy and appealing?

My husband is a big brother with Big Brothers, Big Sisters. I mentored a couple of boys a couple fo years ago, focusing on the college testing and application process. I am starting as a volunteer for a new program where I will be mentoring two low-income college freshman, helping to encourage them through the challenges they will likely face in their first year. These kids got where they are through a lot of monitoring and hand holding through a program for high achieving, low income students in their high school. Because they will all be first generation college students and most come from unstable homes, the program directors feel that they still need that support so they don't feel abandoned and give up.

I think this program and other mentoring programs are a crucial piece in all of this. I think it is necessary for kids to have regular contact with adults who are caring, responsible and have simply worked hard to get where they are. I encourage all of you reading this to consider how much you have to offer a child who has not been brought up with skills that include goal setting and attainment. This is the part that is missing for these kids. Instilling the value of a work ethic and persistence is not an easy task - you'd have to be in it for the long haul. I think if everyone we know became a mentor, we could change the world.